I woke this morning to the news that CNN was projecting Republican Greg Gianforte as the winner of the special election for Montana’s open US House seat, defeating Democrat Rob Quist. Just the day before, Gianforte was charged for allegedly assaulting a reporter, an audio of which has been blasting Facebook and assaulting all our sensibilities. This week I have also seen President Trump shove Dusko Markovic, the prime minister of Montenegro, roughly to the side in an effort reach the front of the NATO picture line, and then preen like he had just won the middle school potato sack relay. And while Ivanka Trump congratulated Saudi women on their “encouraging progress in women’s empowerment,” The New York Times’ Mona Eltahawy reported on Dina Ali Lasloom, a 24-year-old Saudi Arabian woman, who was fleeing a forced marriage “was dragged onto a plane from Manila to Riyadh with her mouth taped shut and her arms and legs bound” after being held by the Philippine government long enough for Lasloom’s uncles to arrive, beat her and kidnap her. At the time Ms. Trump was making her speech, Lasloom was bound for a detention facility where she will presumable experience horrors I can’t imagine as I sit safely in my privileged suburban life.

What is going on? As a mother and a teacher, I have to ask, has the world lost its collective mind?

I’ve been talking a lot with my 14-year-old son about kindness and inclusion and being the best person he can be. He wades every day through the complex morass that is middle school. In an effort to differentiate and discover who they are, middle schoolers can be obliviously, and sometimes intentionally, cruel. I keep repeating Michelle Obama’s words from the 2016 Presidential Campaign, “when they go low, we go high,” but how much weight could that really carry with him? What he sees around him daily are examples of when going low reaps rewards. Apparently, a man can brag about sexual assault and be elected president. A man can grab a reporter by the throat and body slam him to the ground (allegedly!) because he doesn’t like his question. That same man can then be rewarded with a seat in the US House of Representatives. And, if you are a woman or a minority, or, God forbid both, don’t try to stand up for your rights, because powerful men around the world are ready to jail you, beat you, bind you and forcibly repatriate you to their world.

So how do I raise my children with the values I hold as essential in a purpose-driven, joy-filled life? How do I tell my son to look past others’ shortcomings and always do the right thing? How do I tell my daughter to hold her head high, that she can become anything she sets her mind to. How do I continue to believe it, myself?

I am reading Jill Filipovic’s book, The H-Spot: The Feminist Pursuit of Happiness, and trying to hold on to the hope she and it bring me. She was my student over 15 years ago; a bright, thoughtful, engaged student who loved the beauty of the word and the sanctity of justice. She began writing her book (published by Nation Books this year,) fully expecting feminism to lead to its ultimate next step in the election of Hilary Clinton as our first female president. She, like those of us who also believed that (here I am, casting my vote for our Clinton,) has been reevaluating the real achievements of feminism ever since. One thing her book teaches me is that we must move on from the goal of world in which men and women will be treated with equal respect and value, because trying to catch up with men in a system created by and for them does not work, but also because for those whom we have elected to positions of power, those who make our laws and stand as role models for our children, the norm is to treat no-one with respect or value. The norm has become one of verbal and physical violence and deeply held contempt. We as women and mothers must look to a new paradigm of equality, one in which we must secure for ourselves and our children equal opportunities to pursue happiness, justice and peace. We must redouble our efforts on educating our youth for lives of purpose, lives of fulfillment. Can we please forget the test scores that lead to good colleges that lead to good jobs and the…what? The cliff? Let’s extend our focus to what it means to truly live and be happy and kind.

I’m rationing myself from television news and Facebook. If I keep letting the ugliness in, I just may think that is all there is and lose hope. I’m turning away from the darkness and seeking the light – and hugging my children. And believing we can all be good people.

Jill’s book can be found at Amazon.com. I hope you purchase it!